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Thread: Koala Bear for sale!

  1. #1
    Bruce the Mick! BRUCE! will become famous soon enough BRUCE!'s Avatar

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    Koala Bear for sale!

    Koala Bear (LA)
    ________________________________________
    Date: 2009-09-29, 6:54PM PDT
    Reply to: sale-hkgwe-1399020698@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
    ________________________________________

    I have a three year old Koala Bear named GumNut, that I'm desperately trying to find a new home for. I bought him back in January figuring it would be an awesome pet that would enjoy living in my greenhouse, sadly I was wrong. I paid $3200 for him back in January and I'am not sure what the used Koala Bear market is like in a good economy or the one we have now; so I'am open to offers. Please use some common sense before contacting me, don't be an idiot, I'am not interested in trading my Koala Bear for your busted up 1980's Camero, your XBOX, or an offer to paint my garage door.

    GumNut's Stats:

    The Good

    *He is somewhat housebroken, uses a cat box most of the time.
    *For the most part he is very quite; this also falls into the bad category which we will touch on in a moment.
    *He eats spiders, (not kidding) we haven't had a spider in our house since we got him.
    *Hates watching Desperate Housewives, used to be my wifes favorite show until GumNut bit her for changing the channel from Jeopardy, to Desperate Housewives.
    *Gets along well with one of my two dogs.
    *Loves to go for car rides.



    Now for the Bad:

    *He eats a lot of eucalyptus, which is not as cheap as I expected.
    *Apparently eucalyptus is like a drug for Koala Bears, when GumNut is coming down from his high he becomes very violent and aggressive.
    *He raped and killed my wife's cat "Miss. Kitty'" (Honestly, I wanted to put this in the good section because I've been trying to find a way to get that worthless cat out of our house for two years, thanks GumNut.)
    *He does not like Asian's, I have no idea where this Koala was raised but someone of Asian Decent must have really mistreated him.
    *Loves Vin Diesel movies, not sure why, he just does.
    *Has extremely sharp claws and teeth which he uses often.
    *Loves shiny objects, steals and hides them frequently in my dog's ass.
    *He is quite, and as a result has snuck in on my wife and I during intimate moments. I mind him watching; maybe it won't bother you as much.
    * GumNut smells terrible and is not easy to wash. I had to hold a gas soaked rag over his mouth till he blacked out to get him in this tub for a bath.
    *Once he is in the water he is fine, getting him into the water is a challenge, he will scratch you, he will bite you, and you will bleed.
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  2. #2
    I fix your broke ass jet usafvmi08 has a spectacular aura about usafvmi08 has a spectacular aura about usafvmi08's Avatar

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    That's AWESOME.
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    Slow in, slow out haoboutnow will become famous soon enough haoboutnow will become famous soon enough haoboutnow's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by BRUCE! View Post
    *He does not like Asian's, I have no idea where this Koala was raised but someone of Asian Decent must have really mistreated him.
    It's called survival instincts... He knows he'd be in a stew pot within minutes in an Asian household. I kid, I kid. I have *never* had Koala stew.
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    All Your Base Taranis is a name known to all Taranis is a name known to all Taranis is a name known to all Taranis is a name known to all Taranis is a name known to all Taranis is a name known to all Taranis's Avatar

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    That is hilarious. Made me LOL at work again. :p

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    BANNED triplejumper18 will become famous soon enough triplejumper18's Avatar

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    ROFL, comedy!
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    Left Lane Zombie Assassin! nathanloehlein has a brilliant future nathanloehlein has a brilliant future nathanloehlein has a brilliant future nathanloehlein has a brilliant future nathanloehlein has a brilliant future nathanloehlein has a brilliant future nathanloehlein has a brilliant future nathanloehlein has a brilliant future nathanloehlein has a brilliant future nathanloehlein has a brilliant future nathanloehlein has a brilliant future nathanloehlein's Avatar

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    wonder if theres any truth in this. hilarious either way.
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    held a gas soaked rag over his mouth until he passed out?

    me thinks fake.
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    Administrator Erich is a glorious beacon of light Erich is a glorious beacon of light Erich is a glorious beacon of light Erich is a glorious beacon of light Erich is a glorious beacon of light Erich's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by BRUCE! View Post
    *He raped and killed my wife's cat "Miss. Kitty'" (Honestly, I wanted to put this in the good section because I've been trying to find a way to get that worthless cat out of our house for two years, thanks GumNut.)
    Wonder if I could rent it for a day to take to my in-laws house.
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    Mazda Born and Raised Francostine is a name known to all Francostine is a name known to all Francostine is a name known to all Francostine is a name known to all Francostine is a name known to all Francostine is a name known to all Francostine's Avatar

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    lkWZH.jpg
    this is now internet famous
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    Quote Originally Posted by heyjackrun
    Put a piece of pre-cooked bacon in your pocket. When you're halfway through, you know, with the fornication, stop and pull out. When she turns around from the doggie she should see a smug grin and a piece of bacon in your mouth.
    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymous
    He can lower his standards, mine are pretty much set

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    Sausage Aficionado heyjackrun is infamous around these parts heyjackrun is infamous around these parts heyjackrun is infamous around these parts heyjackrun is infamous around these parts heyjackrun is infamous around these parts heyjackrun is infamous around these parts heyjackrun is infamous around these parts heyjackrun is infamous around these parts heyjackrun is infamous around these parts heyjackrun's Avatar

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    That was awesome
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    lol wtf this is hillarious
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    Ambassador of awesomenessssss CeeeJay has a reputation beyond repute CeeeJay has a reputation beyond repute CeeeJay has a reputation beyond repute CeeeJay has a reputation beyond repute CeeeJay has a reputation beyond repute CeeeJay has a reputation beyond repute CeeeJay has a reputation beyond repute CeeeJay has a reputation beyond repute CeeeJay has a reputation beyond repute CeeeJay has a reputation beyond repute CeeeJay has a reputation beyond repute CeeeJay's Avatar

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    awesome. this 3 yr old thread needed to be raised from the dead.
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    The Infamous One Groundbuster is infamous around these parts Groundbuster is infamous around these parts Groundbuster is infamous around these parts Groundbuster is infamous around these parts Groundbuster is infamous around these parts Groundbuster is infamous around these parts Groundbuster is infamous around these parts Groundbuster is infamous around these parts Groundbuster is infamous around these parts Groundbuster is infamous around these parts Groundbuster is infamous around these parts Groundbuster's Avatar

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    Yes it did because it's on reddit now for some reason lol.
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    Mazda Born and Raised Francostine is a name known to all Francostine is a name known to all Francostine is a name known to all Francostine is a name known to all Francostine is a name known to all Francostine is a name known to all Francostine's Avatar

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    which one of you guys karma whored this thread?
    1995 Mazda Miata "Lola"
    Quote Originally Posted by heyjackrun
    Put a piece of pre-cooked bacon in your pocket. When you're halfway through, you know, with the fornication, stop and pull out. When she turns around from the doggie she should see a smug grin and a piece of bacon in your mouth.
    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymous
    He can lower his standards, mine are pretty much set

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  16. #15
    Sausage Aficionado heyjackrun is infamous around these parts heyjackrun is infamous around these parts heyjackrun is infamous around these parts heyjackrun is infamous around these parts heyjackrun is infamous around these parts heyjackrun is infamous around these parts heyjackrun is infamous around these parts heyjackrun is infamous around these parts heyjackrun is infamous around these parts heyjackrun's Avatar

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    I thought it was funny.
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    Mazda Born and Raised Francostine is a name known to all Francostine is a name known to all Francostine is a name known to all Francostine is a name known to all Francostine is a name known to all Francostine is a name known to all Francostine's Avatar

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    1995 Mazda Miata "Lola"
    Quote Originally Posted by heyjackrun
    Put a piece of pre-cooked bacon in your pocket. When you're halfway through, you know, with the fornication, stop and pull out. When she turns around from the doggie she should see a smug grin and a piece of bacon in your mouth.
    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymous
    He can lower his standards, mine are pretty much set

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